Waiting Room Etiquette

For starters, let me just say that “Etiquette” is a rather strange word… which is probably the reason why it is spelled in a rather strange way.

Anyways… back to waiting room etiquette.

There is this unspoken code concerning how a person should behave while in a waiting room. While the code is unspoken, it is just understood.

*Please take note that if you find that you do break some of the rules in the Waiting Room Etiquette Code, I’m not trying to offend you. I’m just trying to shed light on the code and to prevent from there being brawls and cat fights in waiting rooms.

Waiting Room Etiquette

1. NEVER talk on the phone.  There are different volumes at which people talk into the phone with. Some people use their inside voices that you learn to use in kindergarten and then…. there are those people who literally scream into the phone. This could slightly alarm various groups of people. For instance… you will wake up the elderly lady who dozed off and the chances of her passing out and/or having a heart attack are great.

2. NEVER Take a Nap. When some people take naps, they tend to do several things in their sleep, such as: flatulate, talk, snore… and the most humorous (and my personal favorite): having sudden jolts from a nightmare. Talk about drawing attention to yourself.

3. NEVER Eat Food/ Chew Gum. Usually, chewing gum gets its own bullet but I decided that chewing gum and eating food are along the same lines. However, let me rephrase this… its rather smacking and devouring gum than chewing. I absolutely can’t stand when people are sitting there, smacking their gum…. rolling their gum in their hands and putting it back in their mouth… and when they are really getting after chewing their gum (it almost is too gruesome to watch).

4. NEVER Gossip. This should be rather obvious. Lets just say that there is a certain girl that you dubbed “she-who-must-not-be-named” for whatever reason. For this scenario, lets picture the worst case scenario. You are sitting there, chatting away with your friend (who you drug with you to the doctor, against her will) about “she-who-must-not-be-named”…. and since it’s the worst case scenario, you’re talking quite vividly and in a “not so PG-13″ way about her. Turns out…. that the lady that seems so focused on reading her book is actually listening intensely to your conversation about “she-who-must-not-be-named” is actually the certain girl’s aunt. I don’t have to carry this scenario out any further for you to fully grasp the severity of the situation. Raunchy, I know.

5. NEVER Talk to Yourself. If you are sitting there, talking to yourself about whatever it is that people talk to themselves about… the other people in the waiting room will begin to question your sanity and if they can risk being in the same waiting room as you.

6. NEVER Annoy Your Neighbors with Self-Consumed Talk. Trust me, the poor unfortunate people that had to sit beside you due to lack of empty chairs does not want to hear about how your cat nearly died the other day because “Fluffy” was trying to eat a rat and it started to choke and nearly died. There are some things (gory in this instance) that random strangers just do not want to know about you, or your life.

7. NEVER Gawk, Stare, “Observe” Others. This should be rather obvious as well. However, if you don’t know, trust me on this one. Staring tends to creep some people out and they will tend to start to feel awkward, which might lead to awkward chaos.

8. Avoid Sitting Next to Random Strangers. At all costs, try your best to avoid sitting directly in the seat right next to a random stranger. Honestly, the radius of my “bubble” is about 2 feet. For those who don’t know what radius means…. This should help.

And trust me, whenever that 2 ft. radius of my bubble has been breached…. let’s just say that it’s not pleasant. So, try to keep in mind that while you’re lounging all over the furniture, your neighbor with a 10 ft. radius bubble is about to start

9. NEVER Talk About Others That Are Sitting In The Waiting Room. Talking about a person in the waiting room is just like when you talk about a person in the same class in junior high. Chances are… they will most likely figure it out sooner or later. Keep in mind the golden rule.

10. NEVER Sneeze Without Covering Your Mouth. While you may not a germ phobia, there are people in the world that are always on the edge when it comes to other people and their germs. For those people who have germ phobias, they absolutely cringe (may even start to gag) whenever people sneeze loudly without covering their mouth. To avoid people yammying all over the waiting room, please cover your mouth while sneezing.

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